- Praise your child when they are well mannered.
- Be a role model and always remember your own manners.
- Point out other children with good manners.
- Explain that it’s not okay to interrupt, unless it’s critical.
- Set up a consistent routine and eat at the table every night.
It’s hard to know how polite a pre-schooler should actually be. After all, it seems like typical behaviour when they jump up from the dinner table the second they have gobbled down their meal. Or to forget to say “Thanks” when a family friend comes over and brings an unexpected present. While it’s normal for pre-schoolers to still be self-centred, teaching manners reminds them that other people in the world matter and deserve respect.
Fortunately, this is a great age to teach social graces because your child is naturally eager to please you. To develop their sense of decorum, this is the perfect time to start working on these habits now.
Best Behaviour: Be Kind
In pre-school and on the playground, taking turns, sharing, and being friendly to other children is the law of the land.
Make it Happen: Point out other people exhibiting the behaviours you’d like to see in your child. If you make your child aware of others doing sweet deeds, they will begin to identify with the actions you’re showing them.
Children this age are still possessive, and encouraging your child to share may be difficult. It can take time for them to understand that they may feel uncomfortable while someone else plays with his toy, so be sympathetic. In turn, be enthusiastic when your child offers a toy to someone or gives them a turn on their scooter. Your child may care more about getting praise from you than about the toy anyway.
Best Behaviour: Say Please and Thank You
Using “magic words” may seem like just a fun routine to your child, but these niceties make other people feel good.
Make it Happen: Be a role model. Children love to imitate Mummy and Daddy. They will learn to use ‘Please’ and ‘Thank-you’ in everyday conversations even faster when you praise them and react quickly to their polite requests and responses. If they forget, just give them a little reminder.
Best Behaviour: Don’t Interrupt
You’re on the phone with a friend and you feel a tug on your free hand that’s so forceful, you’re sure it’s King Kong on the other end. As you know, when your child wants attention, they often insist on having it right now. But your child is old enough to be patient and occupy themselves for a brief period of time, and it’s fine to have them wait.
Make it Happen: Explain that when you’re talking to someone else, it’s not okay to interrupt unless it’s critical (someone is hurt or they have to go to the toilet immediately). For any other less-important intrusions, firmly tell them, “Mummy is on the phone. Play with your blocks while I finish talking and I’ll be right there.” Then follow through when you’re done with the call by thanking them for being patient and giving them your undivided attention.
Best Behaviour: Greet Nicely
Although children often hide their eyes from strangers, saying ‘Hi’ and ‘Good-bye’, and answering a simple question, are essential social graces.
Make it Happen: Rather than merely coaxing a dutiful ‘Hello’ from your child, challenge her to tell you some detail about the person too. You might say, “Can you see what colour Mrs. Johnson’s eyes are?” This will help them learn to look adults in the eye.
Once your child has mastered a proper “Hello,” move on to a handshake. Start by teaching them the difference between a weak “dead-fish” handshake and a nice, firm one. Then practice introductions at home, perhaps by pretending to be different characters or friends.
Best Behaviour: Eat at the Table
Staying in their seat for more than a few minutes (especially with no television or toys) can be tough for any child. But most 3-year-olds should be able to sit at the table for about 15 minutes. If that seems like a challenge, aim for ten and work your way up. It’s important for your child to realise that dinnertime is family time.
Make it Happen: Set up a consistent routine that cuts down on distractions and conflicts. A few tips: Avoid any juice or snacks right before mealtime to ensure that your child is hungry; insist that food be eaten only at the table; let them help set the table each night, and consider giving them a sticker as a reward when they do well. Family meals are also an opportunity to model other table manners. Keep your mobile off the table. Put your napkin in your lap, and chew with your mouth closed. It may take a while to change old habits, but imagine all the civilized meals in your future.
The original article can be viewed on www.parents.com